Say You Don't Want It
by LadyChatterley
Summary: Elena and how she deals with the departure of a certain individual she thought she had all pegged out./ R&R / The amazing banner is the creation of MadDoll. Thank you so much! ON HIATUS.
1. Chapter 1

**DISCLAIMER:** I don't own it (just the plot ).

**A/N:** I'm back in the TVD waters. I don't blind myself that I was the only one who tried to rip all of my hair out of my skull when the finale of the third season finished. I mean, seriously (as Elena would say xD), why does Damon always, and I mean ALWAYS, has to be left hanging?

So in this series of one-shots (if you guys happen to like the first one, I'll write more of them) Damon leaves Mystic Falls, pissed because Elena is now a vampire. Let's see just how well she copes with that fact xD.

Thanks for stopping by; read, review and above all, enjoy your stay :).

* * *

If weeks ago she had known what she knew now, some things would have gone a completely different way but alas, now it was too late.

When she opened her eyes, entering the world of immortality for the first time, he was there. Yet, not the way she would have liked to see him. He wasn't smiling and his eyes weren't gleaming mirthfully just because he decided that it was going to be a good day. That charming grin of his was not tugging at his lips and one of his brows wasn't lifted in mock attitude of her silly comments.

She didn't hear his masculine laughter emerge from his lungs and she didn't get to feel his hand on her shoulder.

He was sad, disappointed and angry. His arms were crossed over his broad chest and the look in his eyes was cold. And the moment she came back to life, he turned his head towards his brother, standing on the other side of her laying form, nodded in recognition and left.

Had she known he was leaving for good, she would have said something. She would have gotten up and ran right after him. She would have grabbed onto his body and begged him to stay for losing him was the last thing she ever wanted.

But she knew neither of those things. For those crucial moments she was ignorant.

* * *

She pulled onto the Salvatore Boarding House driveway, not really sure how she felt about it. She hadn't seen Damon since he left the hospital yesterday without as much as a single word. And she was dead curious as to what he had to say about her transformation. It was more than obvious that he had not been exactly thrilled about it or at least that was what she gathered in those quick seconds before he stormed off.

So, instead of calling him and play 20 questions, she drove to the house.

As she spent yesterday, surrounded with all of the possible people from Mystic Falls, answering every quirky question and then talked her condition through with Stefan, she felt no need to announce her arrival. Besides, she knew otherwise, that Damon had his whims but a day of solitude probably cooled his fiery temper down.

Locking the car, she casually strolled towards the entrance door, rang the bell and prepared herself for a snotty greeting from none other than the eldest of Salvatore brothers.

But whatever was buzzing around her mind in those moments, was interrupted by the click of the door knob.

"Elena?" Stefan was standing in front of her, his hair adorably messed up, t-shirt wrinkled. He had a somewhat sour smile on his lips and a thoroughly surprised look in his eyes.

"Stefan?" She didn't exactly want for his name to come out as a question but he didn't seem to notice the slip as he leaned in and pressed a sweet kiss on her lips.

"Come in." He stepped aside for her to enter and then closed the door.

"How are you feeling?" She shrugged, following him to the parlour, curiously looking around herself, trying to use all of her heightened senses to somehow locate Damon. Nothing.

"I'm fine for now but I'm guessing that's because the blood I consumed yesterday, right?" She answered with a bit of a delay while Stefan poured her a glass of lemonade and sat down on the sofa, staring, scrutinizing her face.

"Yeah, it is. No animalistic attacks on your conscience so far?" He tried to be funny and it was the first thing that somehow seemed off to Elena. She didn't want to have any doubts about him or make comparisons in her mind but Stefan really wasn't the one, talented for humour. Unless he was with Damon; then he could do anything.

"No, not yet." She then smiled back and was about to ask where Damon was when a horrifying pain shot through her temples. She bent over in pain, grabbing her knees in support. Stefan, letting his glass fall to the padded floor and the liquid spilling all over, rushed over to her side.

"Elena? What's wrong?"

"My head. It hurts." She panted, trying to sooth the blunt stabbing by doing so. He gently took her head in his hands and looked her in the eyes, concerned beyond belief. Did something go wrong with the transformation? She was dead now; it wasn't possible that the pain from the haemorrhage she experienced still as a human would somehow transfer itself onto her vampiric form.

"What's wrong with your eyes?" Stefan suddenly barked, only now noticing the switching shapes of her dark pupils.

"What?" She breathed but was otherwise not able to say anything else.

* * *

**"_Please, give it back." She begs while he holds her necklace out of her reach._**

**"_I just have to say something." He says, closing the distance._**

**"_Why do you have to say it with my necklace?" She's frightened._**

**"_Well, because what I'm about to say is probably the most selfish thing I've ever said in my life." He reiterates, like it's the most obvious thing in the world._**

**"_Damon, don't go there." She pleads._**

**"_I just have to say it once. You just need to hear it."_**

**_They stand so close, staring at each other._**

**"_I love you, Elena." He finally admits, like he just realized it for real himself._**

**"_And it's because I love you, that I can't be selfish with you. Why you can't do this. I don't deserve you. But my brother does."_**

**_He leans in and kisses her forehead while she closes her eyes. Then he cups her face and she can hear the pain in his voice. _**

**"_God I wish you didn't have to forget this." She doesn't understand what he means._**

**"_But you'll do." A tear escapes his eye; the pupils spread and then narrow again. _**

_**The necklace is resting around her neck, he is gone and she remembers nothing.**_

* * *

"Elena! Talk to me!"

She sees Stefan's lips move. She hears the sounds coming from his mouth yet she doesn't really understand them. The pain from her temples is gone and instead replaced by an uncomfortable knot in her stomach. Or is it the chest that binds her so?

"Stefan? I need to talk to Damon." He looks trapped. Like someone who was forced to do something he would simply love to avoid at all costs.

"I just remembered something." It is obvious that the pain had passed. Elena feels better.

"Damon isn't home." Stefan states.

"Okay, then I'll call him."

"You can't. His phone is in his room."

"Damon never forgets his phone."

"He didn't forget it. He left it on purpose."

"Wait, what?"

"Elena, Damon is gone and he's not coming back."

* * *

**p.s.:** Yeah, i think it didn't really go as well as I imagined it to, but I'll publish this anyway. If I continue, is up to you. Thanks for taking the time and reading it :).


	2. Chapter 2

**DISCLAIMER:** I don't own it (nothing but the plot that is).

**A/N:** You asked for, so I wrote it. The second one-shot (it might not look like it at first but both chapters are as much an entirety together as they are on its own) to this so-called story.

Thanks for stopping by, read, review and stay in bloom ;).

**p.s.:** Would someone be able or willing to make me a banner for either of the stories I have written so far? I'd be very much delighted and of course would give all the credit to the creator.

*****For the best image quality, please submit image files with width to height ratio of 6/9 and size of 300x450 or higher*****

If anyone would see him or herself fit to it, contact me on facebook.  
A huge thank you in advance.  
LCH*.

* * *

Sitting on the windowsill of her room, Elena was eagerly writing in her diary. Her lush hair was cascading down her shoulders, hiding her face and eyes from the inquisitive stare of the person, silently standing at the doorstep of her bathroom.

Stefan.

She'd been doing it a lot in the past two weeks; he noticed it to have become some sort of a routine for her. Yes, she was occupied with herself and friends most of the time, since everything was still so fresh and new to her but whenever she knew, she could afford several spare moments of time, she'd pick up the black book, check if the pen worked and wrote.

Today was no different. They agreed that he'll stay the night at the Gilbert residence, spending time with her. He remembered informing her that he'll go and take a shower and he also remembered the scribbling sound of pen gliding over the bare sheet of paper the moment he closed the bathroom door behind him.

He understood that she needed to sort her thoughts out. He understood that she needed a bit of space. Hell, he even understood that he would have been fooling himself most profoundly if he thought, for one second, that she did not think of his brother. That she did not grieve his departure although she hadn't said a word about it.

The thing that was a complete mystery to him was the understanding of the magnitude with which Elena felt Damon's absence. The magnitude of hurt, tightening her chest because every common corner held something that reminded her of him. The one that left.

And for the first time in his life he was frightened out of his mind.

He turned away from the bathroom door and away from her form, sprawled up on the window shelf like a small scared animal. He didn't bother informing her of his intentions for deep down he knew she'd only smile back and then resumed writing. But he needed some fresh air, no matter how ironically the idea sounded in his head, and most importantly, he needed to talk to someone. A very special someone.

There was a thought, that would keep him awake through some nights and he wanted that exact same thought to be thoroughly dealed with. So upon reaching the stairs of the porch and sitting down on them, he took out his phone and simply sat there for a little while, examining the device before he looked through his contact list and picked the name of the local take out restaurant.

It rang a couple of times before a rather sleepy voice growled something high on the saucy side, apparently less than happy of being disturbed so instantly and convinced Stefan, that he had indeed reached the one he was planning on reaching in the first place.

"If you're calling to inform me of some unearthly peril, hanging over you like a dark cloud, I'll kick you in the curb through the speaker!"

"Did you compel her?" Stefan had no intention of being a pleasant converser. He was suddenly feeling very annoyed and he wanted to know. Well, he knew already that Elena was remembering scenes that she was compelled to forget but he wanted to hear it from his own lips.

"I'll take that as a partial no; what are you on about?" The voice said, clear from the previous fog of what sounded like sleep. Or so Stefan assumed.

"Elena, obviously." Damon was sure he could hear, see and smell his younger brother roll his eyes, not really feeling like evolving the topic but he knew his brother well enough to understand, that Stefan was not going to drop it.

"Oh come of it, Stefan. No more nookie until she dies or in her case; burns on the sun, playing an emotional martyr or pisses off another original. Either way, not really the crux of my life anymore."

"I beg to differ, brother. Now answer the damn question and stop acting like a dick!" He pressed then, his patience running dangerously low. Somehow he just didn't find it in him to deal with his older sibling's garish attitude and fake ignorance of the matter.

"I'm fine, thanks for asking, by the way." Damon pouted and let out a little snicker because he could imagine the vein on his brother's temple pop out in rage. It always amazed him greatly, how Stefan could be so composed and patient in certain situations, yet when it came to...

"I won't ask again."

"I compelled many people in the brightest days of my, how should we call it, charitable activity; and yes, some of them happened to have been of female sex. If I did the same to Elena, then by now, you should have known it was for her own safety. I want this chapter closed." Damon demanded, sounding a bit breathy but before he could get an answer from Stefan, something disturbed his hearing; the click of a door being closed.

"Stefan? What is going on?"

A soft voice froze both of the brothers on either sides of the phone conversation. Stefan, not knowing whether she heard who he was talking to, dared not say a word and Damon; well he didn't want to give himself away so he stayed quiet too.

"Who are you talking to?" She slowly sauntered towards her boyfriend, sat down and put her head on one of his shoulders, staring up in the sky, strewed with stars in the most romantic way.

"I was ordering food." He stated, now assured that she was unaware of who was still on the other side of the line.

"Oh, for a moment there I thought I heard... Well, never mind, I'm sure it was only my new abilities, playing tricks on me." Stefan, knowing himself just how non-tricky the mentioned abilities were, simply hugged her smaller figure and rubbed her arm affectionately. He was also about to press the end call button when faith played a nasty one on both of the Salvatores.

"_Damon?"_ A mellow, female voice could be heard from Stefan's phone speaker, making Elena sit up rigidly, her face a picture of cold surprise. Her eyes were fixed on the device in her boyfriend's hands like they were expecting or rather hoping to materialize someone out of it.

"_We've been in bed all day. I want to go clubbing."_ The voice whined again and then the connection was cut, not by Stefan but by, Elena was more than convinced, Damon.

"You've been talking to him?" Stefan had to admit that he had never heard her speak with such a weak and broken tone. And it pained him greatly for reasons he refused to disclose even to himself.

"He is my brother."

Tears welled in her eyes, threatening to plough the soft and dry skin of her cheeks but instead, she slowly got up, took a few calming breaths and in a second she was able to pretend that nothing had happened.

"I'm tired, we should go to bed."


	3. Chapter 3

**DISCLAIMER:** I don't own it (but the plot that is).

**A/N:** I hope you get more talkative over this chapter as I'm assuming you didn't like the second one. Although I must say; a million times thanks to all that have reviewed the fic; it means just about everything to me xD.

Okay, I'll shut up now ;). Read, review and above all, always Stay In Bloom!

* * *

**"I know Bonnie, you're right. You and my mom both are. I just can't bring myself to tell him." She sighs in her phone, dreading the day she will in fact have to come clean with Matt.**

**"At least not tonight." She adds, tired to even think of it.**

**"I'll call you later." She closes the connection, looks up and there, in the middle of the road, a couple of feet away from where she's positioned, a man is standing. A man so breathtakingly handsome with an aura of mystery and extreme allure to him. He is staring at her, flabbergasted at the sight of her, drowning himself in her appearance.**

**"Katherine." He breathes and she gets the impression that a huge weight just crumbled down from his shoulders.**

**"Um, no. I, I'm Elena." She shyly corrects him, looking around if there's anyone she might know around in case this guy turns out to be bad news.**

**"Oh. You… You just look like…" He still gazes at her, never finishing the sentence. The sheer intensity of his look quite frightening.**

**"I'm sorry, you just really remind me of someone." He then continues after a couple of seconds yet still doesn't sound quite enough composed to her ears.**

**"I'm Damon." Now she hears him say his name with palpable swagger and restored confidence; and she likes it. Somehow she just knows, that this young man, just about knows exactly where his place in life is.**

**"Not to be rude or anything, Damon but it's kind of creepy that you're out here in the middle of nowhere." She slowly states, although deep down she's already decided him to be trustworthy.**

**"You're one to talk. You're out here all by yourself." He smiles wickedly, automatically making her stretch her own lips into a sweet smile as well.**

**"It's Mystic Falls. Nothing bad ever happens here." She lightly explains, empathising the statement by slightly waving about the place with her hands.**

**For a quick moment there, they just stare at each other. To her, he seems to be contemplating something so she takes the initiative and ignites the conversation about the most troubling thing that's been occupying her mind for the last week.**

**"Got into a fight with my boyfriend." She shrugs.**

**"About what? May I ask." He enquires yet at the same time shows, that he knows it's not really his business. And again, she finds herself liking the energy he possesses.**

**"Life. Future. He's got it all mapped out." She says, distaste in her voice. She's too young to think about those things.**

**"You don't want it?" He assumes, probably knowing he's right.**

**"I don't know what I want." Again, she likes being an irresponsible teenager. Plans can wait for when she's older.**

**"Ah, that's not true. You want what everybody wants." He acts so wise and almighty, it irks her. She suddenly feels flirty and playful. Her heartbeat quickens and she decides to try this sudden flash of chemistry out.**

**"What? Mysterious stranger who has all the answers?" She barely believes it flew out of her mouth but strangely, she doesn't regret it one little bit. She's eager to see his reaction.**

**"Ah, let's just say I've been around for a long time. I've learned a few things." The dints reappear on his cheeks as he awards her with another one of his smiles and nods knowingly, pouting adorably while at it.**

**"So, Damon, tell me; what is it that I want?" She presses again, all of the thoughts of him, possibly being some sort of a villain, flying out of the window. She can feel herself radiating with glee and cannot possibly stop the sparks in her eyes from shinning at him.**

**And then he starts closing in on her, his head slightly bent to the left, while never breaking the eye contact.**

**"You want a love that consumes you, you want passion and adventure and even a little danger."**

**She could listen to him forever. She absolutely loves what he's saying. All of it, she can feel burning in his words. All of it, she can feel consuming her body and soul. Who is he?**

**"So, what do you want?" She wants to know, badly.**

**"Ah…" The car horn in the distance goes off, preventing him to further explain himself. Elena turns around and sees her parent's car.**

**"It's my parents." She says, and then turns back to face Damon only to find him standing bare inches away from her.**

**"I want you to get everything you're looking for. But right now I want you to forget that this happened. Can't have people knowing I'm in town yet. »**

**He has the most beautiful eyes she'd ever seen. So cold and clear in colour yet at the same time gleaming with the most heated pull. Promising things beyond her imagination while securing safety. Nullifying each other.**

**"Good night, Elena." Is the last thing he says, disappears and when the car pulls over by her side, she doesn't have a clue what just happened.**

* * *

Damon's been sitting at bar of his hotel, staring at the half empty glass on the counter for the better half of the morning. To any outsider who had never met him, he appeared bored out of his mind, possibly trying to brighten his dull day with a drink. To himself, he was convinced; he was simply taking a break from all of the drama and constant action in his life.

But what was really in his heart and mind, stuffed under piles and piles of insignificant garbage about insignificant things that weren't even worth remembering, was pain. Bare, raw, excruciating pain that wanted to rip him to pieces.

He didn't want to think about her, so he preyed on different girls every night. He didn't want to think about his brother, so he convinced himself that he didn't care. And it was actually working pretty well until he woke up this morning, staring at one of the many girls he's had over the course of time, spent here, on the sunny beaches of California.

It was utterly ridiculous really, that he'd choose California in spite the fact, that it was the place of the United States he hated the most.

Suddenly the dam, keeping all of his true feelings and thoughts, broke and he reluctantly allowed himself to be reacquainted with the fact that he was miserably lonely, that he was miserably missing Mystic Falls, his brother and most importantly her.

He missed watching her walk, hearing her speak, felling her touch on his skin, smelling the intoxicating scent of her hair shampoo. He missed her scolding, he missed her laughter, and he virtually missed seeing every piece of clothing she owned. And to someone of his reputation, his beliefs and standing, all those things were considered to be forbidden.

In the past he would switch it off. He would go on a bloody rampage and never look back on the things he had left behind. But that was years ago. Back, when he had no special goals to achieve, no things and people to live for.

Things were different now; even though they ended just the same they always did for him. In the end, his father will always prefer Stefan to him. Katherine will always pick someone else over him. And no matter how much good he did, how many lives he saved, Elena will always turn the other way. Always away from him.

He should have never come back to Mystic Falls. He should have never tried to wreak havoc upon the little town. He should have never met Elena and those dark eyes that had more power over him than any original. He should have...

The phone in the left pocket of his leather jacket buzzed, signalling an incoming call. He knew, before he even looked at the screen, who was the caller. It's not like he had any other friends to expect a call from.

"I just started liking you, Stefan. Don't push your luck." He did always admire his little brother's perfect timing. Or lack thereof. Yet to his surprise he did not get an all knowing comment back. In fact, all he got in return, for several moments, was silence. Impermeable, deafening silence.

"No, it's me, actually." Her cautious voice nailed him to the bar stool. He should have known she'll find a way to further torture him.

"Right..." Was all she heard him say and knew, instantly, that he was about to break the connection.

"No, please don't hang up!" The pain in his chest tripled, preventing him from executing his primal intention, while the voice of reason in his mind mocked. Weak is what you are, Damon, weak!

He said nothing. If she wanted to make a closure or whatever the reason she called, he will most certainly not do the talking.

"You compelled me." The words quivered on her tongue. Half out of fear from being caught and half out of all the suppressing she did, to prevent the salty water from leaving her eyes.

"Dear God, not this again..." He never sounded more exasperated to her. Never had she heard such amounts of agony in his voice, usually so smooth and playful.

"Oh no, I'm not mad at all." She tried.

"I just wanted to... I wanted to... Truth be told, I don't know what I wanted to say." She too sounded like she was giving up on something. Something bigger than a phone conversation.

"Then you needn't have bothered calling at all." He smashed the rude answer through the speaker and she felt as if he'd smashed her head against a stone wall.

"Don't be like that." She grew quieter and quieter, her answers even more distorted.

"Like what? Like an insensitive bastard with absolutely no tact? Well, Elena, I'm sorry to be the one to inform you but you've missed that train!" He felt the anger erupt in his whole being. How dare she act like she's some damsel in distress while it was her, who broke him?

Again, he could hear absolutely nothing but an occasional car that must've been passing by the Gilbert house. Really he should have hanged up while he still had some dignity left.

On the other side, Elena was pressing the sleeves of her pullover to her eyes, still refusing the tears to spill over her soft cheeks, marring the perfect make up and reminding her of her loss.

Stefan had no idea that she nicked his phone when she was over at the Boarding House earlier in the day. She was so desperately in need of hearing Damon, it was already downright embarrassing and the last thing she wanted, was to ask Stefan to call him so she'll feel a bit better.

"I never wanted to lose you." The moment she removed the sleeves from her eyes, the tears fell. Heavy, thick droplets, falling victims of gravity. She'd been writing in her diary prior to the call, and now, through her watery gaze, she saw the water melt away the words, so carefully selected and written. His name coming up with every second line.

Yet she refused to wail and sniff. She was still strong.

"Tough luck, love. I know I have said it before but I think the intervention is needed again; you and Katherine have far greater things in common than just your looks. You've made your bed." He tried to sound firm and harsh but he knew that the retort came out rushed in the end. She was crying; he could smell the tears.

"Won't you come back?" She tried again, less and less composed.

The question was apparently the last drop over the edge for Damon because he absolutely roared with pain and ferocity, palpable in his otherwise calm and collected voice.

"Listen and listen closely. Me and my brother had a deal. You pick me, he leaves. Pick him, I leave. One of us gets crushed but time heals all wounds and in about 60 years, we'd be together again. And now, someone's ruined that too."

"So, you would have rather seen me die then?" He hadn't been thinking rationally, his judgement clouded with sorrow, anger and liquor.

"Stefan is all I got. He is my flesh and blood."

"After the complete transformation, so am I." She yelled in the phone, letting her state overflow her senses.

"And thank you. Thank you for being the only one who wished me to get everything that I wanted. Thank you for everything, Damon. You were the best thing for me when no one else was around."


End file.
